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Monday, July 9th, 2007
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10:02 pm - Martyrdom of The Bab
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1:31 am - Transformers
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I saw the Transformers movie yesterday. Wrote a little review on my site about it. :)
Transformers
Enjoy
PS: Yes.. its been 153 weeks since I have posted something here... any posts I make here will basically go back to my site.. hope you like it :)
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| Saturday, July 31st, 2004
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12:34 pm - working away
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Kinda tired right now so I thought I would take a break and blab a little :) ..
Things have been going all right.. of course I have a bunch of things on my plate. For the past few months I am still working on the same projects. It's looking good, and it looks like things are finally going to start happening this coming month. As usual, things in Nigeria take a long time.
The two projects I got going on here are getting started in the coming week which is really exciting. One is with a low cost website solution, while the other is a spam protection service. Both of them sort of go hand in hand, but they are with two different partners. It seems like one little thing or another has held up both of them getting started, but all those little bugs are getting worked out this weekend :) HURRAY!
I got some exciting news the other day. One of my friends in Nigeria is coming to Canada to visit me! :) .. looking forward to seeing him again. He shared with me a new idea he came up with the other day to help cell phone owners in Nigeria. It's a fantastic idea... and I made some suggestions that actually triple the profits and create an ongoing revenue stream and subscriber base from the whole thing. Will start production of the new product next year.
Past week I have been going to the gym every second day... doing cardio and then tanning.. cause I am a fat ghost white boy! All this time I have been spending working away on the new site for the spam protection has turned my butt into the AssMaster 2000. :) ... I made a promise to someone that I would keep going to the gym until she got back from her vacation. So far I have kept it up :) .. only have to keep it up for another two weeks to make it a habit :).
I really have to take better care of myself after I finish off this project. Hardly sleeping and hardly moving really is taking its toll on my body... but hey.. the body is like a rubber band.. it can bounce back.. and can stretch to whatever form we choose.
Well.. I better get back to what I was working on :) .. plan is to finish today... so the next time I make an entry.. probably will be able how things are moving along :)
Tough times never last.. tough people do ;)
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| Monday, June 28th, 2004
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12:23 pm - nightmare
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Last night I had the most horrifying nightmare I could imagine. I can't really go into full detail.. what I can recall is the scariest part. I was going through some kind of tunnel.. very dark.. and I was there to try and unlock a mystery.. a code of some kind to stop an evil from spreading. This tunnel I went down was on a conveyer belt.. and it came to a room.. a small small room, about 6X6 to the top of the room.. below was a man... not just a man though.. pure evil... the face was like rounded.. and distorted with shark like teeth showing from his mouth.
As I came to the room the man was wailing in insanity. Throwing himself all over his small room which was just all cement with a light bulb hanging from the ceiling. He knew why I came there... he was just one of several others I had to see to find out the entire code. I asked him for his piece of the puzzle.. and he told me.. the conveyer belt moved on.. I came to another room shortly after, exactly the same.. with a man who looked the same. I asked him.. and suddenly he went crazed. He started moving around like fast forward on a movie.. I begged him to stop and then suddenly the next thing I knew.. he had taken a spike a large spike and stabbed me straight through my throat. I can recall the numb sensation and the feeling of my warm blood quickly draining from my neck as I knew I was dying.
Then, as though I was starting over again, I went to then next room and got the next code from the same type of man. Then the next room, only to again feel the spike drive through my throat... and the sensation of blood leaving my body. I went through this three times.
There were other parts.. the end of my dream there were people going missing, and I was trying to find out who it was that was causing it, but it turned out to be the person I least suspected, and he then turned and came after me. I ran through the building.. but he stayed after me the whole way.
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| Thursday, June 17th, 2004
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5:15 am - a moment to reflect
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Wow.. talk about neglect :) .. to my wife to be whom I haven't met yet.. I certainly won't treat you as bad as I have my website :) ... I seemed to have thought I put occasions messages here.. but I guess I didn't.
I had one of those marathon days yesterday were I kept going until I accomplished everything regardless of lack of sleep. I came here because I find myself somewhat burned out not really concerned with getting started with any of the many things on my plate. So what better way to spend some time then to reflect on the keyboard.
Obvious first question to everyone reading here is, what the heck happened.. where did he go this past year? Well.. not to long after the last entry you saw in 2003.. I headed off to Nigeria... WOW you say.. that must have been amazing.. well you can definitely say that. Though I would love to share the exciting adventure, I cannot. I will share with you though the lessons learned while there.
I learned that even a person who claims to be a man of faith is capable of looking you straight in the eye and tell lies about you knowing very well that he is lying. I learned that evil in the world is not so easy to identify. The evil person knows when to appear good, wearing his sheeps clothing, even though inwardly they are ravens wolves that bit by bit cause suffering in the world by victimizing one person after the other, careful to maintain their cover with those that would judge them properly and stop them. I witnessed firsthand how sadistic person works, and became a victim of one, or rather two. I also learned that the people are capable of using the phrase 'God is my witness' while proceeding to make up stories. I learned that when your life is being threatened by someone, it doesn't matter if a police officer is even in the room, that person will attack you. I learned that when things get tough, certain people will do desperate things and say anything to get what they want, no matter what the consequence.
This evil I learned about there was an expensive education. So far it has cost me all my businesses, both in Nigeria, and in Canada which I am still recovering from. However, the thing it cost me most at this point, is my name. Right now I am battling to make this wrong, right. At the time I believed that because I was on the side of truth and justice that I would be vindicated long ago. However, the lesson in evil seems to have been more drawn out then I had anticipated. I am confident still though, because the truth, no matter what evil you face, will always set you free, as promised by the Almighty.
I was in Nigeria from July to January... but now back in Canada, alive, well, and again have gained years of wisdom in a short and traumatic experience. This kind of thing seems to happen every time I travel. :) My nightmares of that experience have now stopped, and I have recovered from the intense suffering I faced while there. Since coming home I gave gained some weight back, which is good, but I went over board and now am changing my diet :) ..
The future looks better then ever though. I am excited about all the future holds. I have been very busy in my Baha'i community since coming back. I now serve on the LSA of my community, and also tutor the youth in our region for Ruhi Book 1. I have been attending the Ruhi Institute courses almost non-stop to help fulfill the goal we have in our region of having 50 tutors by next Ridvan 2005.
Since coming back from Nigeria... I have been having some strange dreams. Every few weeks to a month, I am having a dream that I am Neo.. in the Matrix. The last one I had was a few weeks ago... in the past I have had dreams where I could fly.. but my ability to fly depended on my belief in my ability to fly. I would start to sore.. and no matter how hard I tried, I would start to descend.. almost like I was losing my power. However, the last dream I had, this time I was Neo in the Matrix.. and I was in the park.. there were kids rides all around and they were moving. Like Neo in the Matrix.. I tried to stop them with my mind, but then this voice, sounded like a womans voice, spoke to me and said. "Your power is not to stop the things of this world, but to make them move with life." When I heard this I understood it, and in that moment I jumped up and started to fly, this time though, I wasn't stopping. There was a house with a brick wall in front of me and a flew right through it, and then another house.. I went through that too, and then another house that instead of going through it, I simply landed against the wall on my feet like a spring board and jumped off of it. Suggestions on what this means?
Now I'm getting tired, I should get some sleep. Perhaps after getting some rest I will be charged enough to get back to the things I need to do :). Here now I promise to not neglect my journal anymore :) ..
current mood:  contemplative
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| Sunday, May 25th, 2003
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12:22 am - funny
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Sometimes your wake up call comes from the strangest places. I wonder how many people hear it.
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| Saturday, May 17th, 2003
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3:34 am - dream extreme
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This past day I could not go to sleep because I had some important work to finish up. I had stayed up for 30 hours when I finally got some sleep. I had a very extreme dream last night though..
It started with me in leskratch... I saw Kyla, a friend of mine, sitting at a bar stool. Her hair had changed. Anyhow, she didn't look to happy... I came to say hi as always but she very clearly was not happy about something. She had trouble looking me in the eye. I kept conversation going hoping at some point she would open up, but she didn't. It looked like what ever it was, she felt very guilty about it and was doing her best to hide it from me in particular. A few other girls I know from there started to join us, but they just sad around in lounge chairs watching us.
I am going to call her later today to see what is going on. I have not talked to her in months... when I get dreams like this about people, I know something is going on that I need to be there for.
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| Thursday, April 24th, 2003
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9:03 pm - and so it begins
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My spiritual child was born earlier this week. :) www.bahaicommunity.com ... after months of pregnancy.. I have finally given birth.. wow what a relief :)
Nice to know my child is going to change the world for the better :)
Spring Leadership this weekend.. WOOO HOOO!!! :)
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| Thursday, January 30th, 2003
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2:54 am - awesome night at leskratch
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Had a great time at the LeSkratch anniversary celebration... won a t-shirt :) ... met a lot of new girls.. saw some old friend and acquaintances.. all good :) ... Got to dance a lot too... like that :)
Brad Wogamont said some things that made some really good sense to me... your not what you were.. you are what you are... I like that.
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| Wednesday, January 29th, 2003
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6:57 am - my dream last night
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I had an odd dream last night... this girl I know named Rina was in it... we were meeting up at a school... like high school... and I said "hey whats up" ... she replied "ohhh Jonathan... there are bad guys and there are nice guys...." so I went on to ask "so whats going on?" then she turned to me and said in a very sincere heart felt way "That's just it... I can't tell you because you are one of the nice guys", then she smiled. That's about it... only other detail is she was wearing a white jacket.
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| Monday, January 27th, 2003
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1:25 am - thoughts
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I heard something tonight that made me a little upset. I am not sure if it frustrates me.. or if they are the feelings of envy. All I know is that I hope I don't forget what I heard tonight... and how things can change so quickly.
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| Thursday, January 23rd, 2003
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10:48 pm - True Success
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You can use most any measure when speaking of success
You can measure it in a fancy home, expensive car, or dress
But the measure of your real success is one you cannot spend
It's the way your child describes you when talking to a friend.
From: You Can't Teach a Pig to Sing --- Dave Severn
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| Tuesday, January 21st, 2003
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2:23 am - On Target
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So far so good :) Today went well... tomorrow will go even better. :)
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| Monday, January 20th, 2003
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3:49 am - Another Moment....
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I can't sleep. What keeps me awake is the thought of tomorrow. The thoughts of what happened in the past, and how not to let it affect my future. I had a very powerful conversation with Dave tonight. I talked to him about things I could not tell anybody. What was great was, he understood, and lead my thoughts to where they need to be. I talked to him about my duality quite a bit. I believe everyone has it... but mine is not so divided. The line between the dualities within me is becoming less and less defined. Truth is the only me I want to prevail is the super me.
There is a battle that rages on in everyone... greatness vs. mediocrity. Majority of people declare surrender early in the battle and continue in mediocrity... occasionally entertaining their need for greatness through TV, sports, and other leisure pursuits to make up for their great defeat in life. I am all to aware of this battle to let it come to pass.
For some time now it feels as though I have been losing the battle... but now I realize... I cannot lose, so long as I did not quit. Quitters never win and winners never quit. Right now I feel as though I am living in a moment. The moment is when decisions are made... most people have the lottery attitude, and believe that the moment happens in a single act.. but it doesn't.. the moment happens in a habit.. a behaviour.. that is ongoing and alters your possibilities forever. In every moment you have the choice... define the moment, or the moment will define you.
I have wasted away too much time in idleness and vain imaginings... when I look forward I have to ask myself, what will I say when I look back.. my greatest regret is not in what I have done... it is in what I have not done. I cannot live with that knowledge any longer.
This moment is being defined... I will no longer allow the duality in my life to continue... from now on... only the greatest will be the standard... only excellence will be acceptable.. and only action which is taken in pursuit of my dreams.
I cannot allow my personal fears, mediocrity, and lack of vision to deny others from what they could have. To allow myself to squander in such ways is to deny others the possibilities of recognizing the truth in their own lives. If there is anybody I need to raise my standard for, it is for all humanity... because until I do, I cannot expect anybody else too.
I realize the power I have to move mountains, I recognize the source of all my power, and I am solidified in my resolve to live by that standard. All things are possible with God.
I will stop looking at the past.. and close my eyes to the future.. walk by faith.. and not by sight.. and accept God's gift.. the present. Cherish each moment that has been given to me, to mold, to bend, and shape my eternity.
Truly I have learned, the source of all sorrow, is in the pursuit of all things save the dream that has been given to you. The source of all happiness, is not to do what feels good, but to do what is right, and in pursuit of your vision... your purpose... your dream.
Life really is that simple... when you live by truth.
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| Monday, January 13th, 2003
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8:06 am - dream
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I just woke up not to long ago... I had the oddest dream. I dreamed that I was back at American Express visiting everyone I knew there. Everyone was happy to see me and it was good to say hi again. I had a bag of thing that I had brought with me. I wad of US dollars, the book I was reading, Futureconsumer.com, and a black tshirt. I went to the other end of the call center room when the roof started to come down. Not like a collapse, it was like the roof was designed to fall and it did, in a slow mechanical way. Somehow I knew it would not come down completely on me and that at some point it had to come back up. Well it soon did, but instead of going back up all the way, it stayed very very low.
The whole room at this point had a factory look to it, and everything seems covered in black. Nobody else at the other end of the room seemed to really care, they just went about things with a 'this is the way things are' attitude. I saw a doorway out to a shipping dock of some kind from the same room so I made my way out there. As I was coming out by the truck I found myself surrounded by bodies. There was 2 of them... their heads had been covered by bags, and it looked like they had been laying there for some time... just dumped with no regard, still in their clothes, which were very plain.. almost rag like. It looked like a part of the building nobody ever went around, and I guess thats why they dumped those dead bodies there. I continued on... it was very bright and sunny and hot out as I came to a dirt path that rounded a corner ending my dream.
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| Wednesday, December 18th, 2002
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9:59 pm - got angry
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Today I got angry... all the frustrations that have been building up over the past weeks finally let go today. I didn't take it out on anybody, I didn't do anything harmful, but I feel angry right now. I am changing the things that have lead me to this.
Yes I know I haven't updated this in a long time... well here ya go :) ... anyways.. I will be more on the ball with it :)
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| Monday, October 28th, 2002
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2:13 am - Seeing
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| Saturday, September 28th, 2002
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3:30 pm - The weekend of a lifetime (no details though.. top secret :) )
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You know those defining moments? Those moments when you know that everything is going to change. Seems like lately I have been having those moments almost every second day. It feels like a critical mass is building up here. Like there is a battle going on inside of me. One massive blow hits me from within, and defines a moment, but it doesn't stick. So I get hit again.. I don't want this to go on.. but it's kinda funny. I have to laugh at myself for how reluctant I am to change.. perhaps because these changes are so big.. I mean.. I know once I come to the final decision it will be HUGE.. it will be a complete 180 from where I am now.. and I LOVE the thought of becoming what I know I am striving to become.. the things I will accomplish, the lives I will be able to impact, the dreams I carry that could begin to be fulfilled!!
It seems so simple to just surrender and do it, but as is with all things in human nature, the path of least resistance, the option to not change, is just easier. I guess I have to realize that I'm at a point now where it's no longer optional.
The weekend in Minneapolis was AMAZING!! I feel sooooo sorry for anybody who could not make it there. There are so many new things that have been introduced.. the speakers were awesome, and taught so much on ways to improve business and better serve others. I'm taking what I learned and implementing it in my business.
This past week my mother came back for a bit before heading back to New York. She seems to be doing well, and it's good she is spending more time with family down there.
Today in my reading I read some interesting things about the defeated.. about the difference between the successful and the mediocre is how they responded to defeat.. basically when you get knocked down, get back up. It made me think about my current dilemma. Funny how when you open a book, the things you read that very day just happen to be the things that you needed to read. I guess thats why it makes sense to read at least 30 minutes every day. Thats where the change happens :)
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| Tuesday, September 17th, 2002
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3:53 pm - Arise
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I share this with you, perhaps in the hope that it may awaken in others what I found in myself. It feels as though everything I have been doing along my journal lead me to this point. All those little things I have been following at the advisement of my mentors now all seems to be coming into fruition. I remember Ron Puryear once saying "The secret of your future success lays hidden in your daily routine", and thinking of how true it is, but always struggling with the practice of it in my life. We all have our battles, but it wasn't until today that I suddenly woke up and realized I wanted to win the war.
Humm.. I sometimes wonder how others preceive me. From what I have been told, I work really hard, I am ambitious, I spend all the time I can working in my business. I guess I do so more then most, but to me, there is a big difference between being busy, and being productive. I have not been productive. Otherwise I would be in a very different place in my life. In all honesty, this has been a battle I have had for as long as I can remember.. through all my business ventures.. even through school there is one word that has lingered in my heart like a parasite, it's called apathy. I know there are varying degrees of it, but in this case, the amount in my life has been enough to effectively hurt my life. I know many people suffer from the same thing. Actually when you think about it, the majority of people lead apathetic lives. I have met many people who are so busy with their apathetic lifestyle that they have no time for anything else, it dominates their life. I am no different. I am caught in the same trap, working on the same plantation.
However, there are the little things, as I mentioned that have been adding up, undoing the damage that was done from the past. Ron was right, your future success does lie in your daily routine. Today was another day where apathy won. I did not get done what I had set out to do for today. Instead I allowed myself to be subdued by the TV. It was a really cool movie, I have to see it! In between commercials I was reading my book though :) ... yes the reading part is good.. and it is something I keep up on daily.. which is important.. but I still was not doing what I was suppose to do to be productive.. instead I was 'busy' with other things.
You know that self talk? That little voice you have that you tell yourself things with.. question yourself with. For the past few weeks.. I have been paying close attention to that voice. More and more I have been realizing that the reflection of where I am in my life is directly due to where I am in my thinking. If I am going to go further, then I have to direct my thinking further then it was before. Everyone has that self talk.. it defines who you are and how you act. Because of all the great association I have had with successful people, and all the reading I have been doing, my self talk went from
'you are not good enough'
'only those others make it'
'your not smart enough'
'you don't have enough money to pull it off'
Now it's going like:
'you were meant for greatness'
'you have what it takes'
'make it happen'
'everyone is counting on you'
Just to give a small example. This is a little difficult to expose about myself.. but once again.. I am hoping others may relate and gain something for themselves.
Lately I have been realizing the power of the spoken word. Talk to anybody who is successful in their life and they know all about it.
... to be continued..
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| Monday, September 16th, 2002
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1:32 pm - sneaking up on me
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The days are sneaking up on me. Here I am the middle of September and it scares me how time has passed by. I am leaving this weekend for the business function, which I know is going to be amazing. There is still so much I want to get done before we go though. With so much more I want to do, I am painfully more aware of how much my job takes up my life. Nevertheless, I will make it through and do the best I can with what I got.
Upswing coming around.
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